Rewriting History--does real history return?

[AJM80]

Hi JR - I'm about 6 months post bomb. The first few months were a lot of anger at me and rewriting of history. I called him on a few things that I felt were just too much - like he said he'd considered D before we conceived our older child....I told him a bit later that that was a load of crap and he admitted it, that we decided to have a baby in a place of love and togetherness. After he moved out, I think he had a time of just living with blinders on. Lately I think he is more open to remembering good times/the relationship I remember (which still had some crap in it, no doubt).

Don't try to force him to remember good times, but it doesn't hurt to do things that were fun in the alternate universe you were having a relationship in. For example, we always had an awesome time taking road trips...the kids and I have had some great trips lately without H and H has brought up old trips taken together. I've tried to make the holidays fun and special for kids sake - side effect has been H seeing the pictures/hearing about it and realizing what he was a part of and left. The other day I told him how sweet son is 1st thing in the AM...just like our D was when she was an older baby..he got up at 5am and came over so he could be at the house when they woke up. I'm sure it crossed his mind that we used to have mornings like that together, cuddling the kids in bed.

He also made some crack about how I never wore jewelry he bought me - clued me in that he felt hurt/that his gifts were unappreciated/not important. Listen for things like that, that will help you understand what is happening...don't get too wrapped up in it or "make empty gestures"/"change to be what you think he wants"
Good luck - they get pretty twisted.