Where can I find stages of MLC?

[Albuquerque]

Don't bother with giving them books. They won't read them.
They don't want to save the relationship. They want out.
They can't sort through their own thoughts and feelings, let alone read a book with anyone else's.

I would caution against giving advice with all-inclusive undertones. Each MLCer is different. I agree, they are usually too deep in the fog to be reached, but a few, like my H, occasionally ask for help. But even then, they are often not ready to really hear the answer. I chose to give my H very simplistic answers/statements to his questions. If he asked more, then great. I left it in his court. In retrospect, I think he appreciated my discussion only. I don't think he really gained any insight. All we can do is be there for them when possible, and stay out of the way the rest of the time and spend it focusing on you.