Let's not use a sibling for an example b/c we might show affection or contact a sibling. How about a distant cousin.....or a coworker you haven't known very long? The point is that you are "nice" to that person, take care of whatever business needs attending, but that's it. If you had a relative that over-stayed the welcome, would you bend over backward and roll the red carpet out for them?
You treat your H as nice as you would treat the clerk behind the counter in the store. Nice, poised, graceful, and polite. Nothing more. Can you hadle it? B/c you couldn't handle it when he was under the same roof with you. Once there is some space between the two of you, maybe you can do better.
If you show any ill temper, nag, pressure, or apply guilt......he will never come home.
Do not contact him. Until you can go dark and learn to be happy without him in your life, I don't think all the examples in the world is going to help you. You are stronger than this. You have to do this--or it's over!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
