My h has been very angry, distant, and cold in the last two weeks. This is about the time he said he stopped communication with ow. Is his behavior due to the end of that relationship? In the past when I thought he had stopped but was still involved with ow, he was still affectionate with me, nice, etc. I don't understand how he can be so angry with me when he is the one causing all this damage.
Well Riley, like it or not, a relationship died, and it is going to affect him. However if you are all happy and bouncy because it is over, he is going to be upset at you.
He is grieving, and you're? You are what? Estatic? Bad combination. It's like handing out ballon animals at a funeral.
Let him greive the ending of this relationship, as F-ed up as it is, and do not be happy at his expense.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
I can only hope the A has ended at this point. He has told me three separate times he was going to stop communicating with her, only to learn later he had not. However this time his new behavior, anger etc. Leads me to believe it has stopped for now. I am just tying to make it through the day. Hoping he sees what a great life we could have. I have stopped trying to push him, giving him space but letting him see I am not sitting around waiting for him to give me attention. It is hard......it really is a roller coaster ride.
"It's like handing out ballon animals at a funeral."
J_T_B, thanks for this macabre but funny comment. I needed a laugh this morning.
Riley, I'm new here and it's been only 4 weeks since my D-Day, but from what I've seen of my W's behavior regarding her EA - which she swears is over yet she still maintains contact - her emotions are all over the grid and unpredictable. I think most of us - "us" being the betrayed spouses - have a pretty firm grasp on what we want, which is to create a better and stronger marriage from the ashes of the old one.
They - the wandering spouses - don't have a clue in their clue box. Do they stay? Do they go? Do they love the OP? Do they love their spouse? Divorce? Separation? Reconciliation?
Like you, I've backed off and started the actions for ME that have been recommended often in these forums: 180s, GAL, "going dark" when I need to. The only answer I've received from the W regarding anything is "I don't know." But it keeps the home atmosphere at a peaceful level.
Stay your course and let your H run his course of emotions. Best to you. And I apologize for my long windedness...2nd cup of coffee is kicking in.
Mark
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
