PINCH ME of HIT ME with a 2x4

[ninelives]

Thanks Jack and Country. Nice ones. Especially Jack.

Was over there today and she was very upset when I got there.

She rehashed the relationship she had with her mom and it wasnt a good one but she does miss her and was crying. She says her life is soooo effed up right now and keeps repeating that Karma is getting her.

To this I dont know what to say. I ususally dont say much except that I know that things are tough right now but they will get better.

This is such a crazy situation. We talked and then she started talking about her lfe again and how she screwed up her life and but she was getting on track until she lost her job last week, then the R talk between us and now this with her mom.

She says there is way to much on her plate right now and she is right. I held out my hand for her to hold it but she said she didnt want to do that right now. So i didnt say anything.

She told me that she loved when her mom played with her hair, even when she was an adult and I said that she was such a little girl. Where she snapped at me. "What do you think im immature and selfish, is that what you are saying"

I said no that her little girl like qualities were appealing and I liked playing with her hair as well. I said this was a good thing about her and that she shouldnt take it the wrong way.

I said, look, I should go, I think I am making you feel uncomfortable and she immediately pleaded that I stay and that she was sorry.

I said, we shouldnt talk about R right now, we need to focus on your mother and your loss. She went on about how she needs to be happy and that according to me in past conversations , the only way she will do this is with her family.

I asked her what she thought happiness was and she said she didnt know but yes she wanted her family back in tact but not necessarily in a relationship with me.

I again reminded her that we shouldnt be talking about this and that I am just here to help her through in which case, I did the dishes, did some other chores around the house while she had a shower.

I asked her if she wanted me to go and again she said no, and asked if I would go to her sisters tonight at 6.

I told her I would , she was getting ready to go to her lawyers to ironically enough, sign the papers to finalize our separation.

I said to the boys, lets go and she said waith please, and then gave me a hug.

YOu are right Jack and others , I am impatient and I am feeling bad for her right now. I just have to be there for her with no other agenda.

I just miss us and the family so much when you situations like this where we should be getting strength off each other.

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