WAW tearing up our family part II

[zengypsy]

ironman,

Perhaps it is time you begin "supporting" her decisions. Honestly, her moving out might just be the biggest "wake-up" call of her life. I've been having issues w/ my W and for some dumb reason have been letting her win. I know her new sitch has gotten worse. She now resents me and seems to want to D more than ever, yet she hasn't come to the full realization that she is responsible for her own actions. I'm not sure she can deal with it as the anger in her is building. She recognizes that this is all effed up, but has no knowledge (or desire) of how to fix it. I thinks she's just not there yet. Time to let her cook a little more, cool off, and then hopefully guide her back home, while letting her think it is her decision.

If you W tells you she needs to go, understand & encourage her to do so. You know you can't control what she thinks or how she feels, so just be supportive and understanding. It is kind of like calling her bluff. She'll probably decide not to go, but if she does, then it is on her to live with the consequences. It won't take her long to figure out her mistake, even though she'll probably never let on. Not your problem.

She is going through a very difficult time. No doubt about that. If you can recognize that, then you can put yourself in a position to "help." The ultimate love is to let her go. If you can put yourself in a place where you have an "understanding," you'll be less likely to be resentful. It can be a very hard thing to do, but in the end, it might just save your marriage. Don't do what I do and fall into the "fighting to be right" trap. Be a better man than me. You'll feel much better about yourself in the end, no matter what happens.

This is good stuff OnMyWay. Totally where my head is at. My STXH gave the if you love something set it free quote and he said that we have to learn how to live our lives w/o each other. OK....I can do that! I'm becoming a better person each and every day. And guess what? I really like who I am now!! Do you really like who you are??!!

Remember, people who initate D always act (key word) like they are happy. They want to present a strong front and that life is a bed of roses since they dumped us. The lies will eventually catch up!

Here's a great quote Truegritter..."I hope you find the happiness you are looking for. Go do what you need to do. You know where I will be."