Update. Need advice on how to move forward.

[zengypsy]

Rileybug:

I'm not an advocate of Seperation or D, but here we all are facing one or the other at some point in our M.

If you both decide to seperate, I would try to put some terms on it. Just as an example, seperate for 3 mos. Would your H be open to MC? If so, you can go during this seperation period. If he isn't, then I would strongly recommend you find a solution based C and go on your own. Would dating other people be acceptable to each of you? Work out a visitation schedule with the kids. I think if you don't set a boundary during the seperation, he will treat it like a free for all.

You can't control how he feels or what he does. All you can do is control YOU. Try to detach lovingly, do some 180's; think about reacting in a diff way then you would in the past. Validate his feelings that will show support without coming across as pursuing. He will be angry because he's confused. Do you think your H is having a MLC?

Re-read the chapter on Infidelity in DR. Read it over and over if you have to. Get in touch with where his feelings and head is at. Time is not your enemy, it's your friend.

Keep posting. We're here for you.