I intend to live forever - so far, so good

[ClingingToHope]

STBXW resonded last night that she doesn't want any more money from me. She just wanted me to accept the settlement offer on the equalization.

It's enough to pay off a 401k loan, but not enough to pay it off and cover the taxes on the money -- since it's coming from her pension.

But since I'm thinking of declaring bankruptcy anyway if I have a big tax bill next year that'll just go into the bankruptcy.

I should be doing handstands and jumping for joy, but now I just feel down. Every step of the way that I get closer to D day hurts. I still haven't given up that 1 percent that believes this will all just work out in the end.

The next court date is April 12 -- our 15th anniversary is April 27 -- and this might be over in May.

I know this is good for me. I am the one who got the process going again by sending a final settlement offer. But it just hurts.