I just wanted to respond to a couple things in your thread.
1. You asked how we had these deep conversations with it going wrong. The short answer is ... we didn't. They almost always went off track which is why the painful things came out. But I always started to talk off gently (Yes, i brought up a lot of these counter to DBing). They always ended gently too. they did get heated during, but I and to some extent my W felt they were somewhat productive. I like you came off looking bad in a lot of these.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
