PINCH ME of HIT ME with a 2x4

[ninelives]

UPDATE- Man when it Rains it POURS

Wife and I were texting again, just some chitchat about son etc.
Then she mentions breakfast and making pancakes and that she is sressed.

So i say you are stressed about pancakes, she says no, stressed about her life.

So I mention that she has pulled back from our last conversation about us.

She says she needs to go slow and that I pushed the issue and she said things she wasnt sure about.

I say then Ok, where do we stand in this. I will give you all the time you need but last we talked you were coming back 100%
and that you were ending it with OM, etc..

She backpeddles a little about the 100% but wants to see where we are and if we can be friends first. She again promises that she will end it with OM and that she doesnt really see a future for her at all. She says she will not have any contact with him in an intimate way and that I wont see his vehicle in her driveway anymore.

If he comes over on his own, she will try and get him out of there asap.

I say are you sure can end it with him and she says yes, but that she does have feelings for him but it is not REAL love like we have and that we have to go super slow.

At points in the conversation she says she is terrified about trying again in case it doesnt work.

I then let go of the rope and say, if you have strong feelings for him, then see where it goes and forget about half a$$ed attempts at recon. I say lets just move on.

She then draws forward and says things like , NO, please , we owe it to our family to see if we can be together and that she knows that she can be without OM.

I foolishly ask her what the hell is the attraction to him. He is a zero. She points out that he does things that I never did like take care of the little things around the house, pay attention to her all the time, make her feel special.

She then goes on a bit of a rant that I was more concerned about my coaching and school then I was concerned about making sure our yard was perfect, my marking Papers where on the kitchen table, I didnt want to go out ETC...

I assure her that those things can change and we further continue talking about recon.

She tells me she is concerned that she cant be all that I want her to be. The passion issue comes up again and says that LIfe cant be perfect in that capacity like I always wanted.

I say I am sorry you felt that way about me, I do agree that you have the right to have felt that way but I always loved you. As for the passion, I know it can come back again but we will have to realize that our old marriage is dead and see if we can reconnect fresh.

She says that we will talk more about it later as we were on the phone for a long time.

JUST THEN, she says her sister is there and is crying and that she has to go.

I call my friend to bounce this off him. 10 minutes later , she bursts in the door crying her eyes out.

She tells me that her MOther is DEAD!!!!!! And that I should look after the boys while she goes to her mothers.

I hug her and she is panicked about the sitch. She texts me about 10 min. later and asks me to bring the boys to her MOMs house NOW.

We go there, her mom is dead on the arm chair. She is crying hard, I go over to her, she is on her knees facing her mom. I kneel behind her, embrace her and kiss her on the back of the head, she holds my end.

The boys are in the basement. And then come up to see their grandma.

I hang out there, hug her from time to time and she doesnt pull back but she also doesnt squeeze me hard either.

She tells me in a calm moment that maybe this happended for a reason.

BTW, she never really got along with her mom that well , her mom was 83, MY w was an accident and wasnt really wanted by her mom and she felt that resentment most of her life. Earlier when we were talking ,she mentioned that she didnt really like her family and resented being around her mom and always has.

That tune changed quickly.

I had to go to another town and sign more separation things so I left for an hour. Went to her house and was there for her for the rest of the day with our boys. I did the dishes, which she hadnt done all week which is really odd for her.

WE talked, and joked a little about things.

( I will contiue new post, this is getting long)

9
BITS