Didn't sleep. Replying to Ws emails with a couple words only to avoid starting an argument. Really angry and afraid that when W gets home she will see it and we'll backslide. Have no idea what is going on - sometimes I think it's all in my head - realizing I can't wonder each day if W is yearning for this man. I've seen the therapist and friends this week but feel so alone. I wish my W would just STAY in Europe. I worst part for me is watching my W get dressed for work - skirts, boots, and little tops that show off how much weight she's lost - always dressier when boss is around. At least I haven't had to watch that. I can't keep this up - I haven't been doing my work. Takes everthing to be there for the boys.
It all comes down to the fact that I don't trust my W. I do love her but in the end people do what they want to do - how many times has she taught me that? And even I can't magine why she'd want to be here, compared to with exciting job and boss.
I'm having a hard time figuring out what's real. Maybe all Ws dress up like this for work, maybe women use some sex appeal on their bosses, maybe those emails were really innocent and her interest in her apperance is a coincidence. Maybe I'm reading her body language with him and her smiles all wrong. I wasn't like this before....
