Not sure if this is the right place for me

[lostmiss97]

So, I'm just sitting here going over things in my mind... trying to figure things out. I'm going over our conversations and thinking about his mannerisms. Most of the time he won't look me in the eye and I wonder if it's because he just doesn't think enough of me to think it's necessary to look me in the eye or if it's because he feels guilty. Then there are the times he fully engages with me and leans into me... we took our oldest the mall a couple of months ago and he was walking so close to me that he was bumping into me. Am I reading too much into it? Am I seeing things that aren't there? I just don't know anymore...

I have been reading over different posts(I don't always know what to say) and have realized that I've lost myself in this self imposed limbo. I'm almost afraid to fully detach because... well, what if I do and it's the end of us? My head is telling me that I need to make MY life and the rest will follow. I have 3 great kids that think I'm the best mom in the world. I am in school studying for radiology. It was a very slow start, but I'm finally doing it. I have a new job prospect that will mean more opportunities and a better income, which will be very welcome as a single mom. I have a good circle of friends that always seem to be asking me to go out. There is a lot I have going for me. I have to refocus my efforts. GAL doesn't mean waiting around for something to happen... you have to LIVE the life you get.