Shine on you crazy diamond III

[FellOnBlackDays]

Punchy, thanks for helping to remind me why we are here. I appreciate your input and advice. Yes, I do need to focus more on me. Funny thing is that when I do, I feel good about it. I just need to do it more.

Mach, thanks as always and challenge accepted. I will try to live the principles instead of talking about them. It is also humorous that I can explain the principles to others, but cannot see when I am not following them myself...

MyKarma and Denver, you must understand, my w has become the very best of friends with my new SIL. Her presence on Saturday had nothing to do with wanting to be with me. She wanted to be there for my new SIL. Frankly, if you would have seen how she greeted me (the little act that went on in front of my uncle), you would clearly see that her presence had absolutely nothing to do with me. There is still a part of me that agrees with my uncle. I kind of think she came there with the hope of watching me suffer. The trick was on her though. I had a blast!!

Figg, Just and Islander, yes, I do help her pack. I don't do it to kiss her ass or in the hopes she will fall into my arms. I do it because it is something I would have never done in the past. The old, jackass me would have sat there and said, "Screw you, b*tch! Pack your own sh*t and get the hell out." And, that is what she comes here expecting. By helping her pack, I get to prove to myself that I don't always have to win a fight, get in the last word or get in the last burn on another person. It shows me that I can be compassionate and understanding. Folks, let us not forget... my wife didn't leave because she didn't love me. She left because she didn't feel loved. And, that is without a doubt, all my fault in many ways. So, by showing her compassion unlike I have ever before, it makes me feel good about myself and it makes me believe I can change for the better. Not to mention, it completely fries her plan. She comes here looking for an *ss and all she finds is a really cool, calm collected guy who won't "take the bait," so to speak. I like helping her pack. I feel good about it.

Well, she was supposed to come over tonight, but called to cancel. Claimed she had a migraine. I cheerfully told her that she could do whatever she wanted as I was going forward with my plans for the evening with or without her visit. Funny thing happened... she apologized for canceling. She has not done that in some time. I told her it was no big deal and we could reschedule for later in the week. Felt good. Gosh, I spent so many years being an *sshole to her that it does feel good when I change tunes for once. I guess I will deal with her tomorrow night.

BITS never walk alone!!!

FOBD