Cant StandThis Roller Coaster

[John170]

yea i am. i just dont know how to take her anymore

[John170]

one minute she is all about me then the next she backs off

[John170]

he friend told me the other day that she dosnt know how to take me being nice to her. and that just keep doing what im doing and we will be fine

[John170]

i think what happens is she starts coming round and i get to close

[verysad2day]

My H feels the same way (I think). He doesn't want to waste anymore time on an act that I may be doing. Just keep doing what works. When she pulls back, you pull back. When she comes close, you stay put.

[John170]

i think she is testing the waters but not sure. she said to me the other day the only reason im acting this way is cause im scared.

[kevc]

Go dark, i mean DARK,my WAW was acting the same, coming home,ML,she is playing my friend, and you are getting pulled apart bit by bit, GAL, you are a human being with feelings, set boundaries, stick to them, even when you feel she s pulling away, my wife was totally lost, do not board the rollerecoaster, i bet she is wonderful, and i bet you are a good man, let her see that your life will not stop, even when she no longer stands by you....be strong.....kevc

[John170]

i guess it gives her i sense of control.

[John170]

you know come to think of it when i was gal good is when she started coming round a lil

[MrBond]

"can someone give me their opinion. when we first separated i acted like a fool calling begging saying mean things to her. she completely shut me out deleted me from fb wouldn't return any of my text messages. I backed way off for about a month now she initiates sexually charged conversations, actually has sex with me and agrees to go out with me. why the sudden change. but she still wants a divorce but wants us to do things with the kids. tells her friends she is scared to get hurt again and afraid we will fall back into the same rut. for one week she tells me good night and sends a lil kissy face. then the next week she backs back off.f"

Are you really asking this question? That means you haven't changed at all. You had an A. You accuse her of seeing other guys when she wasn't and you had uncontrollable jealousy which you're beginning to show again.

You backed off and showed that you changed. That's what brought her back. It's no wonder why she can't commit to you. Look at you now. She starts showing positive actions cautiously and you start wondering if she's seeing someone else. It's no wonder she hasn't gone back to you. She is afraid of getting hurt again.

Stay dim. Not dark. You need to show her the positive changes are still there. But most importantly, make your changes FOR LIFE. The jealousy, anger, etc. is not good in any relationship.