scylla,
i am so so sorry
i am in much the same position as you
but when i truly detached from him, i found it does get easier

i don't know if my m can be saved

he has stated, out loud, that he does not want it to

so i have a choice,

i can wallow in this

or i can get up and live my life

i had a life before him and damned if i am not going to have one after

some days will be better than others, i know

but hopefully the bad days will be further apart

take care of you and your kids

you will be great
if he doesn't see it, someone else surely will

BITS