IDK, I might be in the minority here, but I don't think this is a time to be going dark for you.
I would be there for her, just make sure there is ZERO PRESSURE coming from you right now. Be there to validate her concerns, emotions, etc. Let her intiate the contact, but do not ignore it if she does.
JMVHO of course.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
IDK either Country. I am lost right now. I have been questioning that myself. Just prior to us having our "break through" I was only responding to things that were absolutely necessary (bills, kids) and not much else. Maybe I should take that route and see what happens. I haven't responded to her last text, but I don't know what I could say that would be beneficial to me us at this point.
BITS
M:34 W:28 SD:9 D:6 (pr) M:3 T:6 Separated 1/16/11 ILYBNILWY 10/25/10 PA discovered 11/12/10, began about 10/1/10
I am not who I was, I am being remade, I am new...
I haven't responded to her last text, but I don't know what I could say that would be beneficial to me us at this point.
And that might be the perfect thing to do. If a response is not needed, don't force it. I think you'll know what feels right to respond to and what does not. Use the advice I have received from gr8 that I have been falling back on:
"Remember to think process and then act"
If you do this, you will pick the right times to respond and the right times not to.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
Right. I don't think that I'd go completely dark either Islander. But go back to limiting your responses to short and to the point. She will come to you when she is ready.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
I will do that, but I think I am going to try to go dark for a day or two and see how that goes. I can never really go completely dark anyway with the kids and bills.
I just found out that OM came to W apt a day after we spoke and said he really wanted to make their R work. (OM W also filed for D that day I think. Bad timing for me, couldn't have been any worse). That is why my W pulled back, she was weak and didn't fully mean what she told me.
I am going to have W take back the dog tomorrow. One reason OM moved out was bc he was trying to get a k9 at work and there can't be two dogs in the same house. She is now using me to take care of the dog, and I am not going to do it anymore. I am going to let her know tonight to get the dog in the morning. I will be nice about it though.
I feel like I am being played for a fool. She may be confused, but I don think I should just let her walk all over me whenever she feels like it. Me not taking the dog does not mean I don't love my W.
BITS
M:34 W:28 SD:9 D:6 (pr) M:3 T:6 Separated 1/16/11 ILYBNILWY 10/25/10 PA discovered 11/12/10, began about 10/1/10
I am not who I was, I am being remade, I am new...
Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression by saying something, and sometimes one creates as significant an impression by remaining silent. - Dalai Lama
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
I think it is something to think about as you decide when it is the right time to respond to your W, and when it is the right time to stay silent. Both have an impact, both are significant, the trick is figuring out which one has the greater impact, and whether that impact is positive or negative.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
