Some of the things your wife said: seems like your wife and mine swapped notes. My wife said lot of the same stuff during one of the conversations. At the point, like spellfire said, i just listened, validated her, calmed her down, and then tried to set the boundaries by making sure she understood that the decision to leave was hers.
My wife is always telling me how she had to put up with my bullsh*t for 11 years. I think i have developed thickskin for her comments now.
I found this very useful reading one of the books. When she flys off on you, imagine her to be this little girl who is just throwing a tantrum. Then think of yourself as her mentor figure. Do you then mad?. Nope, you try to calm her down. I tried it and it works for me.
One interesting thing here though is what your wife said "And then she says that for someone who's trying to attract her back, I still lie and behave like a jerk. "
Man that says to me that she's ambivalent about her decision. That is good. But man, these discussions with your wife are good opportunities to grab and show her what responsible man you are. You can do it.
BITS M 38 W 36 D 7 Married 15 yrs W left for 6 months in 2009 W Filed for D 01/03/11 piecing now...
