You will heal in your own time. Staying here in this forum with all the support will help you grow strong, especially because you are such a great lady!!
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
So sorry that things are turning out this way. In time you will be ok. As for your BIL, he like most in laws does not like his relative's antics but has to tolerate it to a certain degree so as not to completely alienate the alien. In laws often hold out hope for the MLC person for longer than even we do.
Take care of yourself and do something good for you.
IB I'm sorry you're in this spot right now but having been there a short time ago, I can tell you that you may feel some relief. Limbo is a terrible place to be. When things become finalized, it's almost like you can finally breathe, even though you are still going to be grieving.
I'm not leaving this forum either even though my D is over, because XH is still up to MLC antics and still reaching out to me to, more than anything, annoy me or be insensitive, and I'm still trying to "heal" from the damage of his MLC and what that did to our marriage, so I feel like till I'm healed, I'm still going to stick around with the people who understand best what it's like to be me. I think the same holds true for you.
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
Antonia - Thanks for your message. II know that this man is in MLC - doesn't matter. He's gone. He chose my polar opposite. This is the choice under HIS control. IB
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
My heart goes out to you and your family. I know this feels like ripping the scab off a wound that was just beginning to heal over a bit. I'm right there with you. The trip to Austin will be a blessing. Enjoy being with your family. ((HUGS))
Thanks Punkin. Very tough days. H is so "matter of fact" about the whole thing. He is just ready to be done - he almost seems giddy, excited. And me - I'm back to the sad, grief-stricken woman I've been these past months. 30 years of my life given to this man who tosses me aside for my polar opposite. I don't want it to be true. I don't want to be divorced. But I can't stop it. This is a death. And I feel as though I am dying too.
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
IB, I know there is very little I can say to you right now that will help how you feel.
He picked someone different from you because he still believes you are the reason for his unhappiness. And he may seem giddy, but, trust me, he's not. He is just hoping that once he's divorced, then he'll be happy. When that doesnt work, well, then he will try something else. And he will keep going until he finally looks within.
He is a broken man. He knows something is wrong and cant figure it out.
I know it feels like a death. And it is in some ways. But, sweetie, it will get better. You have become so strong. You will get through this.
