I think the biggest thing I have taken from all of this is CONTROL.
CONTROL emotions. This is the first big step everyone needs to accomplish. What we need to do is use logic amidst an extreme amount of illogical behavior. If we can get to the point where we are making decisions based on logic, and not our emotions, we can start to make progress.
CONTROL yourself. Focus on what you can control. You realize how much that is. We can control what we say, what we do, and even our own happiness.
Lose CONTROL. Ignore what you CANNOT control. Your S, what he/she says, what he/she does. This realization of lack of control is actually the most empowering to me, because this is what I always struggled with the most. The biggest thing here is the balance between control and influence. We CAN influence behavior, and ultimately that is what we are working to do.
If we can do these things, control our emotions, control ourselves in a positive way, and use these to influence, but not control our S's behavior, we are doing well. We cannot control the ultimate outcome, but we can do what will give us the best possible chances of success. The beauty of all of this, is if done right, you can have a lot of fun along the way, and, we will become better people regardless.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
