You are falling into old habits (arguing). You DO need to stand up for yourself and reinforce healthy boundaries, but along with that you also need to VALIDATE. I think this is the key point you are missing at this point.
A boundary is fine to enforce (parent needs to come and get kid for the sake of the kid for example) but when you interact with her you should not be fighting/arguing. You need to validate her concerns by reflecting back exactly what she says. Enforce your boundaries by your actions. Enforce them as gently as you can, but stay firm.
There is lots of information on how to validate on these forums.
Hang in there man. Keep doing this for you and for your kid.
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
