Thanks guys - I have more clarity today. I have to admit talking to chuck is huge - I hate that these appts are so expensive and they don't take any insurance. I know it is cheaper than divorce or a mental break down . Still, hard to make myself sign up for another round just yet.
I'm not going to lower the bar or quit the race. I'm going to keep doing what's best for the kids and I. I'm going to keep standing and praying and filling my house with love and stability.
Sadly, I am a little embarrassed sometimes about DB'ing. Since he's been gone 5+ months, cheating d--n near a year, I'm getting some pushback and people think I should move on, move away, file, date, drink, etc. I know that you guys, like me, aren't thinking about the last or the next 6 months pain, you're thinking (well, as much as possible) about the next 50 yrs gained.
my plan, bring him to his knees, crack that facade he's put over the pain to pretend that everything is ok in his world...if we don't end up back together, I at least want him to know what he's lost and turn his life back around.
Night guys - lots of love your way.
Faith is, at one and the same time, absolutely necessary and altogether impossible. --Stanislaw Lem
. Still, hard to make myself sign up for another round just yet. 