It's easy to get caught up in the NOW part of life. Look past it on this situation. Don't settle for what appears to be small act of kindness. For what appears to you as acts of kindness means something totally different to her.
Unlike Alan Iverson, Practice is needed. Keep developing your skill.
You can do it and will start to process her action better each time. Don't do crazy. gr8
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
But, I guess I did feel like I got a glimpse inside her head this weekend.
How so, Country?
Well, I know I am projecting, but I will do it anyways. First, let me say, since we have had ZERO R talk since the absolute beginning, I have had no idea how she is feeling about things, whether or not she still thinks of me at all. So...
1. The fact that she did end up getting me a present, not just one from our D. 2. The gift from our D. That took a lot of time and effort. Get the paints, let my D create what I know was a huge mess, and then take the time to frame and wrap it. All of it was much more than I expected. 3. The card. Noting that she "thinks" of me. She is proud of me. The changes I have made. I had no idea if she had noticed or cared. 4. Singed the card "Love" 5. Cupcakes the next day. Again, quite a bit of effort on her part. 6. Noting that she "wished she could be there" 7. Many text/calls throughout the weekend asking how I was doing, happy birthdays, etc. 8. The hugs, especially the one on Saturday. And, even though the one on Sunday was shorter, she completely initiated that one.
I guess it was just a lot in one weekend. She did and said things she hasn't done since this all has started. I guess I just feel like I know now that at the very least she DOES still think of me. She DOES notice what I am doing. And I know I am really projecting here, but that she IS confused and still cares about me.
I know I could be, and probably am, wrong. But I have to take these things as positives. I know that my first reaction to all of this was actually a step back. But today, with it behind me, I think I can use it all for a big step forward.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
I am really just writing to stop myself from writing anything else. I actually expected a big pull back from her after this weekend. The same like after our walk a few weeks ago. Well, she is already texting today. A pic of D and "D is coloring and watching looney tunes... She loves daffy duck!"
Like I said, kind of thought she'd pretty dark for a while, wasn't expecting such quick contact.
"think process and then act"
Anyone have a crystal ball or some tarot cards?
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
I never did respond to the text from my W. It always feels good to do so once it passes.
"In a situation in which someone is being pushed around by another, we pity the one who is losing out and we are upset with the aggressor. We see the suffering of the loser, but we pay no attention to the greater pain that the aggressor will endure in the future from accumulating the karma of perpetrating such a vile action."
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
I dont know country. These Walk aways are sooo preplexing but predicatable at the same time. The Pull back and then the draw closer and then the pull back. If it wasnt so tragic it would be comical.
I guess they really dont know what they want but one thing for sure, they know that Us poor LBS are suckers for their whims. They know that they can dangle some bait and we will bite and then they can reel us in for awhile and then let go again.
I dont know about you but Im getting awfully tired of that game. I think I want to get to a stage that the bait is no longer attractive.
HOpe you are reading your sitch better than mine.
9 BITS
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
I know it feels like they are playing a game. It feels like they are purposely just trying to f with us at times, but I really don't think that is the case.
After all the reading we have done, I think we know what they are doing much more than they do. These women are confused and they are reacting. They are not thinking this out "how can I seriously f with my H today?"
It is up to US how long it goes on. WE can stop it at anytime. Just need to say when...
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
