Just got off the phone with my DB coach. The call gave me more perspective about where I am at and what I need to do. Specifically, I need to speak with my WAW honestly about how I`m feeling.
I will explore more about that in a little while, but right now I am feeling really upset, angry and frustrated. After I got off the coaching call, I came down to check my email and here is what my WAW had sent me:
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So what are you thinking lately ?? Gonna sign the papers or drag things out??
I know you`re hopeful and all but you did say you would grant me my wish and we would remain friends!
Also you said I could have the motorcycle but then one day you said you couldn't come get your bike??
The weather is getting better and I would like to take lessons and save on gas to ride it to work but need the key and title or are you gonna not keep your word with that also??
I know we had some good times together and tough times but I want to only remember the good times and remain friends wanting us both to be happy!! I will always love you and always remain your friend unless you do things to change that!
If you think the counseling will help me I'll do it but it would have to be next Monday around 445 on my way to work!
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I guess the first thing I need to do right now is mange my state again. Breathe and get to neutral.
I am SO pis*ed every time she says something about me not keeping my word or contradicting myself when she is the one breaking her promises for our marriage and her commitment to building our life together.
It is just feels beyond my comprehension that she could be so disconnected, so out of touch so godd*mn oblivious from doing the very same things she keeps accusing me of.
The good news is she has said she will do counseling on monday.
Man I am feeling so damn tired and worn out right now.
Any help, support, love, encouragement, 2x4s, anything at all right now would most surely be appreciated.
Thanks guys.
I`m so lucky I have you.
I am being the possibility of:
1) Integrity 2) Loving myself completely. 3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.
