As Charlie Sheen says... "Winning!!!"

[Sad_but_happy]

So it's been a while since I've posted... Need advice... Things with W are great! Lots of affection, we ML, cuddle every night, do lots of things together, etc.

But I can't get past the feelings she HAD for her EA. It's killing me...

How do I get past it? Will it ever feel better?

I will say one thing. This event has made me "feel" for my W again. I had become indifferent to her. I wanted out of the M.

Is there something more I can take from this?

[OneLessWife]

Hey there SBH. I wish I was in your shoes or stage of your sitch. I had this conversation with my W, the other day. She says she notices the changes in me and started to cry about why it took me so long to do it...But the kicker was how can she even think about letting go of the OM because of her feeling for him....the so called love of her life type stuff...I am sure you have heard it before. As the vets on here say, there is a withdrawl period for her and your patients is a must. I am somewhat familar with your sitch, I will have to go back and refresh my memory. I can't offer any advice at this point but you know your W, you know that she has had a chemical imbalance for a while....But here is the deal she is with YOU now...Have you had any evidence of contact between them or is it just your feeling inside...At some point I hope to be where you are in my sitch...if so I will have to practice what I preach...Feelings overwhelm us tough guys...lol...however if you are with her and she is with you, then always communicate with her in a sensitive way about how you feel....sure there will be a few bumpy roads ahead, but if you believe that she has made the commitment to you and your M, then talk to whomever you have to to keep the momemtun going with your W. You have spent almost 22 years with her and this last period, you as well as all of us LBS, know what we did to get our spouses to this point. Even though they may have made a bad decision or two...as we all know it takes two to make a problem so to speak... I will be following this part of your sitch and wish you peace in your heart...All I can say is if at the end of the day after all you and her have been through, she comes home and goes to bged with you...You must have done many things right to get her back....So I am with you till the end...if my sitch ever gets to your point... then I will be begging for your advice...Until then my friend....cherish that woman..forever...Scott

[islander]

SBH,
What I would recommend is to imagine that you have a new relationship with your W. You need to realize that just like when you first met each other, you both had previous relationships, and I am sure that was not a problem. I am sure that this is a new R for you both, you just have more history together. The key I think is too also forgive, really forgive your W for the EA, and then move on. If you find yourself thinking about the EA, remind yourself that you forgave her, and if you meant it, that should do the trick. JMO, but that is what I plan to do and have done to some extent. I just haven't had the opportunity to practice it with my W.

[Sad_but_happy]

Thanks guys, I appreciate the responses... You are both right..

Piecing is so damn hard... When the bomb first drops you don't have much anger... It's mostly fear and pain.

When the anger and trust issue hit it's a different roller coaster.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

How are you doing SBH?

How is everything going? Pie(R)cing still a pain in the neck?

Smiling; cause piecing is a way of life now, and some days its easy like a 1st grade spelling test and other days its hard like ice rink.