I have not gone to Retrouvaille or MC. My H was not intersted in any type of counseling for the M. In my case even if H had been willing to go to MC, it would have been to BS me into thinking he was working on something that he truly wasn't. He wasn't that cruel and knows I would have spotted the deciept and then I would have been really angry.
Your H is so skittish about it being an attempt to reconcile that I would not do MC per se. You know him though, I don't.
Keep in mind though that he may see this as an attempt to have someone else tell him how wrong he is. Men in general (I don't really like global statements) are more shame based. I would tread very carefully here.
I don't know that any "attempt" on his part would really be genuine, other than to work on you not being hostile and doing the "friends" thing.
Have you talked to a DB coach yourself? Are you willing to? I would not bring him in on this. I would use it as a tool for you.
