He conquers who endures..............

[ironMan]

2step, I know exactly where you are. I feel much the same. Yes, my geographical constraints are much different than yours ... but we share a lot right now, brother.

And, while we have been talking .... the thing you have probably struggled the most with is real detachment. Well, you are there or nearly there. But, I suspect you'll struggle again with it from time to time. And, I think I can help you with that. If it doesn't help, throw it out .... but it helps me.

So, I'm going to walk you thru an exercise that I do ... I got this from a book that you and I discussed in the past.

The idea is ... the world is an abundant place .... your W isn't the key to your happiness or your daughter's. Both of you will be good ... with or without W. What if feels like to be a LBS, is that you had the foundation of your life pulled from you by somebody you like and you want them to come back so you feel fine. But, they were never our foundation. Maybe we used them as a crutch, but they are not necessary for us (nor for our daughters).

What I'm telling you, is that the WORLD is FULL of the things we want. Your daughter (or mine) cannot know this. They are too young. But, WE can learn this. What this means is ... the love, affection, family happiness, sex, being desired by somebody we desire (or, for daughters, having a family environment with a woman that they can look up to who is with their daddy) .... all of this is readily available. It IS, no . it really is.

When our Ws pulled the rug out on us .... the world started to feel like it was closing in. That the key to our future happiness and our daughter's well being etc. was F-ing EVERYTHING up. So, the exercise, is to visualize this world of abundance. To remember, that everything we desire is within our grasp. If nothing else, our Ws brought about the changes in our lives that forced us to realize this. And we should thank them for that.

So, close your eyes. Imagine that the world is a place of abundance. The love, happiness, the woman to help raise your D .. your happiness, your daughter's happiness .... it's all out there. The world isn't closing in, it's not taking things from you. You and your D are going to have a great life. Your W has to figure out what her path to a good life is for her. She's lost though. Its ok. You don't need her. Hopefully she decides to come back to your path, but it isn't necessary. You are not going to be fine ... you are going to be great. All you have to do, is choose great.