Thank you everyone for your support. Sandi she is not on meds yet and her therapist said that he is going to assess whether or not she needs them. I believe that I am co-dependant and will be seeing a therapist starting tonight to take care of my own issues.
I am no longer the same person she met 12 years ago and a lot of that has to do with how bpd effects the non-bpd person. I try really hard not to contact her and it seems to go ok for about a day then i fall back into the same rut and look for the attention from her even if it is negative attention. She told me yesterday that I blew any chance i ever had of getting her back so now I am not sure what/if anything i can do. Last night was the hardest night since this all started.
As far as the OM, I have known for about 3 months and she has been with him for 4 now. He is confident but, he has been single his whole life (he is 34), lived with his parents his whole life, makes good money, and drives a really nice car. When she is with him she has zero responsibilities. He represents fun and i represent responsibility. She has been saying for a long time that she wishes she could just walk away from all the responsibility and now she has.
