Recovering after a same sex affair - Part 3

[sparks14]

Having a hard time right now. Have had my S the last 2 nights and all day yesterday. W came over this morning for a quick breakfast and then the two of us went to his doc appointment for his flu shot. Made a few stops on the way home to pick up a few things.

In the car, my W made subtle hints concerning separation. She is in Spring Break right now, so I mentioned that we could maybe take S to movie theater tomorrow that does a baby friendly movie showing every week. We had free passes from a previous show we went to. She pretty much told me that she did not want me missing work to go, and then later mentioned that she might want to take her brother's girlfriend with her if she went.

I then asked how her new church was. We had a brief discussion how I thought the church attendees at mine are very old so I don't always feel like I fit in. She was quick to tell me that she hoped I wasn't trying to go to hers, because that is something that she wants to do just for her. That didn't ever cross my mind, and I told her. Just seems like she is wanting more space.

I haven't even been to her apartment since she moved in over a week ago, as she has not been ready for me to go over there (even though she mentioned she wanted it to be very accessible to me and our S when he is there).

We got back to the house, and I packed up my S in my W's car. Gave her a quick goodbye, and they were off. I walked into the house and just had a powerful emotion knock me down. Just started balling. I already miss my S who I won't see for two nights. Miss my wife. I can't understand how breaking up our family would ever be the right thing to do. I realize that W has some self discovery to go through, but I ask the "why me" and "why us" questions to my self all of the time.

Sorry for the sob story. I am just feeling very weak right now. No new revelations or new words fro her side. I am just down. Today, I feel like somebody has just punched me in the gut.