WAW tearing up our family part II

[ironMan]

So, I have been pressing W about what she wants to do with our house. She complained for years that she wanted to sell it .. but then when we started getting ready to put the house on the market, she had serious reservations.

I created a spreadsheet to show her what the financial impact would be. Our mortgage is MUCH cheaper than renting a similar place where I could have the dogs.

She just got .. upset I dunno ... basically feeling sorry for herself.

She kept talking about "when she moves out". So I finally said "yes, when will that be?"

She said that a friend we know has a boyfriend who's tenant will be moving out of a condo ... and it is by her office ... so she is going to rent that place. Well, that is 30 mins from our house. Good luck picking D up from daycare, honey. Brilliant! She still didn't tell me WHEN.

On Sat, I took the daughter to a St Patrick's day parade. She loved it and we had a great time together.

On Sunday, I went to this place where I meditate (sensory deprivation tank actually) and worked hard on trying to understand W's perspective of the world.

I am trying really hard to see what her viewpoint is. And to some extent, I do understand it. I think I'm ok with whatever happens next. If W breaks our family up ... that is her problem. She can explain to D how that happened when it comes time. That's not my problem either. As a parent, you want to protect your kids from pain ... but I can't do it. If W is going to screw up this little girl's childhood, there is unfortunately not much I can do about it besides make sure that the time she spends with me is good. Already, daughter is gravitating towards me more than W. This is tearing W up too.

But, W, your actions have consequences ..... what you do in life IS who you are .... what you say ... is worthless.

So, I choose to live my life the way I would want my daughter to live hers. Mommy has to go on her own road now. I don't understand why exactly either honey. I'm sorry.

So, I have to figure out what to do about the house. If its worth $4k spent over a year to rent a house while she figures her life out.

And, I am working on being more sympathetic to what she's experiencing. But, I am REALLY not sure that I can respect her anymore. Just because somebody is confused and going thru pain .... just make anything they do justifiable. While INSANITY may be a valid legal defense, it doesn't make it ok for the victims.