I think also that text was the last remnants of my insecurity about my resolve and my commitment to DB, whether we divorce or not. It totally came from fear and lack of focus.

The truth is I wasn't 100% sure and confident of what I really wanted until that little outburst and some things that happened afterward.

Now I am.

My last few posts have been moving in the direction of who I must become and what I really want and need.

I'm now fully accepting my mistakes, my lack of self-confidence, my contributions to the problems, my lack of personal responsibility...

I'm getting better and feeling better too.

I know who I really am. I know what I really need. I know who and what I want.

I am being the possibility of:

1) Integrity
2) Loving myself completely.
3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.

"It's do-able." What are the actions now?