I thought the most important thing to me was saving my marriage and getting my family back, too.

But when I looked closer, I realized the most important thing to me was "Being the best husband I could be."

Since then, it has been light years easier for me to be strong, clear, decisive, cheerful, happy, confident, attractive...

"Ironically" , all the things that will give me the best chance of saving my marriage.

With my focus on "me not her" or "my life not my dream", things have become more stable and enjoyable.

It is a subtle but critical distinction.

Keep posting. You will find your way through it, too.

I am being the possibility of:

1) Integrity
2) Loving myself completely.
3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.

"It's do-able." What are the actions now?