Been married to W for 10 years and now she wants out. She says that she has not had feelings for me for at least 5 years and is seeing someone else. We have been separated for over a month now and up till two weeks ago we were still intimate despite her affair. Now she has all of a sudden decided she is happy with the new guy and says there is no chance for us to ever be together again. Two weeks ago she told me that ideally she would like to break it off with him and work on our marriage. Why the sudden change? Is this the end? I am lost and hurting badly without my W/best friend. She no longer answers my texts or emails. Please help.
We have a daughter that is 8 years old. I have known about the OM for about 4 months now. The most important thing to me right now is to have my family back but i know there are steps that i must take. I have read Divorce Remedy but to be honest, havent done much to follow it. I have done the whole begging and pleading thing but find it next to impossible to cut off communication with her because it hurts so much. I think I may have put the final nail in the divorce coffin today because I threatened to take our daughter away. My W is Bi-Polar and Borderline Personality Disorder (diagnosed two weeks ago) so I knew that threat would be enough to get her to respond to my texts while her and OM were out of town for the weekend. Yes I know that was a very stupid move but I hurt so much and like ANY attention I can get from my W. I want to hire a DB Coach but money is waaaay too tight right now and I have no idea when that will change so I have to turn to the forums for help.
I also want to mention that the OM has been a friend of my wife's family for 20+ years and she has known him the whole time. It has made the in-laws very uncomfortable because they all love and adore me. Her older sister has permanently disowned her over this whole situation because of how it is affecting my daughter.
hi mac i know how hard this is for you one of the rules that i have started to follow faithfully is to take at least 24 hours before i follow any impulse that i might later regret....for instance texting of sending emails when i wait, i usually am able to think more clearly and the impulse is not as hot you have to look at the big picture what is it you want who is the person she fell in love with? was it someone who pleads, begs and threatens? or was it a strong confident man
You are in the right place to vent, get advise and hopefully realize who you are.
I know you are going thru a rough time, we hae all been there. You need to step back and look at the big picture. Look at what you want. Once you identify who you are and what you want, then develope a plan to get there.
Trust me on this, begging, pleading, fighting and using the kids against your wife will not work. All these things do is justfy her decision to leave the marriage.
You cannot control what your wife does, only what you do. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you can get to be the man you need to be.
Post her as often as you need to. read others stories, and learn from them.
Most important right now, start GAL'ing. Dont waste anymore time.
