My Wife Wants to Separate

[DeterminedFather]

So I've agreed to move out because it's in the best interests of us and the kids. I'm looking for an apt in the same town so I can see the kids more. This happened after more of her divorce talk and calling lawyers. She wasn't clear on what she wanted the lawyers to do besides let me know she was serious.

Some things are better some are worse.
For the better: Doing much better with GAL and DB'ing. I'm not calling or texting her unless it's to coordinate pickup/dropoff of the kids. I'm implementing 180s I've identified. Much better at detaching. Did a very good job listening to her, empathazing and echoing back to her during a difficult conversation about separation.

Worse: W stated that my refusal to move out when she asked (she did rewrite history and said it was a full year ago) has caused a large trust issue. Also, my talking about needing some type of paperwork before moving makes her think I don't trust her so now she thinks it's not a temp. separation.

When talking about the logistics of the seperation she did say that I should take some of the old furniture and not buy a new couch so she didn't get jealous. Atleast she was honest.

She told me she is very worried about me not supporting her because her father went to jail for 3 months for not paying CS and never did after he got out although he could. I assured her that if our M comes to that I would be supporting my kids. I did add that each of us would suffer financially but didn't get into it.

She is all over the place about the separation: She wants me to know it's final but she is assuming that we will keep the joint accounts. She thinks that all we need to do is find enough extra money in the budget for an apt and utilities.

DB'ing is tough when she talks as if I'll be happy in a ugly 2bdrm apt and get the kids every other weekend while she lives in the nice house with the kids.

I think I did enough listening and empathizing with how she feels about the trust issue to help but I'm never sure.