Shine on you crazy diamond III

[FellOnBlackDays]

DBmod and Onmyway,
Thanks for the kind words. Onmyway, I like your style. Please continue to monitor my situation. It is always good to have as many opinions on my sitch as possible. Take care!

****************************UPDATE****************************
Well, I am proud to announce that things went fairly well yesterday and I owe it all to you guys and my DB skills. This will be fairly long, so you might want to use the bathroom and get a snack. HA HA!

Wedding was at an old plantation home on the front lawn. I was looking very nice in my tux. Wife showed and sat on very back row on the isle. Wedding party was in house and no one on lawn could see us in the house. I could see where she was through the window. Music started and I walked out at took my place next to the justice of the peace. I was the first one out. I could see her through the corner of my eye, but I didn't acknowledge her. I did acknowledge others in the crowd. At some point, I did look her way. She was staring at me and when she saw me looking, she smiled, and waved. I smiled and winked back. Weather as beautiful and ceremony was very nice.

After ceremony, went inside to take pics with family. She did not attempt to get in the pics. Actually, she left all together and headed to the reception hall with other guests while we stood on porch taking family photos with bride and groom. She could see what was going on, but left anyway. I guess she no longer thinks she is family. Plus my mother had already expressed her desire to not have my w in the photos.

Proceeded to reception hall. Walked in and she was sitting at a huge table with my family!!! Very strange. She was sitting with my grandmother, numerous aunts and uncles and some of my cousins. Don't really know why she was there at that table when there were other tables there that had just common friends. It does bother me a bit that she still thinks she belongs there.

Anyway, after all the hub-bub that goes on with the dances and pictures, I was finally able to move about the crowd. I had to interact with her. She was sitting at the table with my family. When I went to greet them, it was a bit hard to avoid her!! I went over told her hi and tried to give her a hug. She completely "half-*ssed" the hug right in front of entire family. Nice!! She looked very disinterested in seeing me. She sits at their table, but then blows me off when I come by. Kind of rude, frankly. But, I didn't let it phase me one bit. I just kept smiling and laughing and talking to everyone.

I was very relaxed and on my game. I made sure I was void of all alcohol all day. I drank water and cranberry juice at the reception. Not one drop of alcohol!

So, once I saw her attitude I decided to turn it up a bit. She was clearly avoiding me. When I sat down at the table with my family, she got up and moved to another table. Anytime I would move to her side of the room, she would move away. It was really quite sad and I began to feel sorry for her actually. At points, no one was talking to her. Much of my family was actually quite upset she was there and felt like she should not have shown. I asked them to keep their opinions to themselves and not to confront her. They did as I asked.

During the photos, I picked up my little 10 month old niece and began dancing with her in the middle of the crowd. People were clapping and cheering me on. I was smiling and laughing like an idiot. Even my niece was getting a kick out of it. I was watching my W out of the corner of my eye. She was trying to act like she didn't see what was going on but it was kind of hard to miss. I was in the middle or the room. So, what does she do. About five minutes later, I notice she picks up of my other little cousins and starts dancing around with her acting just like I had. No one noticed or cheered... I knew I had "fish on!!!"

A few moments after the dancing, I went to bar to get drink. W passed by me and made eye contact. I stopped her and asked her how she was doing. I could tell she was starting to well up a bit and struggled to answer. Made small talk. She informed me that my 92 year-old grandmother asked her point blank, "Have you gained weight?" I can't believe she did that. But sometimes the elderly don't feel the need to hold their tongues. My w has put on a considerable amount of weight since the S and she is not happy about it. So, when she told me about the comment, I smiled and told her that I was very sorry for my grandmothers actions. I told her she shouldn't let it bother her. She smiled. I then told her I was happy she had showed up and it was nice to see her. She smiled and we parted.

I tried a few more times throughout the day to make conversation when she was near me, but she continued to blow me off and avoid me when possible. So, I turned it up again. Then it was my time to shine. I had to deliver the best man's speech. I grabbed the microphone and called the crowd to attention. I asked the bride and groom to come to the center of the room. I then delivered a "knock out" speech. I delivered a quick joke that got a huge laugh and then I went on for about 5 minutes and there wasn't a dry eye in the room!!! I finished with this quote about love that I found on the Internet. The room was stone quiet. Both my brother and my SIL were crying a bit. When I finished, my brother and SIL rushed me and hugged me together with tears in their eyes. I was so happy for them and me. It was a very special moment that I will NEVER forget. I love them both dearly. People kept coming up to me all day telling me how moved their were. I worked for two weeks on that speech. Later in the day, a buddy of mine told me he was watching my W during my speech. He said she never took her eyes off of me and she started crying during the speech. I was soooo happy to know I reached her, in a way.

The band was very talented and the party was starting to get good. So, I grabbed the bride and headed to the dance floor. We had an awesome time. I was dancing and smiling and having fun... completely sober none the less!!! Me and one other guy had a dancing contest. People were gathered around and clapping. As I was leaving the dance floor, I noticed she was standing all alone at the bar. I left her there while I got high-fives from my buddies for my performance. Funny though, the minute I left the dance floor, she went out and started to dance. You could tell she didn't want to be there, but she was trying.

Reception ended and I was standing with my mother. My w came over to tell us she was leaving and to tell my mother good-bye. We made small talk and I asked her if I could walk her to her car. She smiled and said yes. We walked out and ended up talking for 20 minutes. We laughed and had a nice time. I don't know why after all the guests were gone that she suddenly opened up. The wedding party and many others were going out to a bar last night. She was invited but had declined. So, while we were chatting outside, I asked her if she was going. Again, she said no. I smiled and said, "I think you should come, it will be fun." She agreed and said she would like that. I was thrilled.

I spent the rest of the afternoon with my family and had a very nice time. I was so excited. I got through the day, I DB'ed like a pro and I didn't get too down or too happy. It went very well for me. I don't know how well it went for her. I could tell she was very nervous and very uneasy most of the day.

Team, thank you! Without your support and guidance, I would probably have blown this thing completely! I feel like I did exactly what I needed to do yesterday. I was friendly and polite to her, I did my best to make her feel welcome and I even saved her from my grandmother. She saw me sober and enjoying life. I definitely had more fun than she did yesterday and I can't thank all of you enough!!!!

Now, there are more details coming about the evening, but I am going to start another post. But, instead of me sitting here trying to read her mind, I am going to ask your opinions. How do you think it went? Why did she do some of the things she did?

More to come...

FOBD