I just waltzed myself into a doormat situation with my wife yesterday. I need 2x4s here.
My wife had told me in February she will be out of town this month for a yearly medical school convocation and so our son will be with me during that time. Here's how the conversation went:
W: Did I tell you that I have convo (convocation) this week? M: You only told me that convo will be in March. W: It's this week and I fly out on Wednesday morning...(then she tells me I will have our son either Tuesday night or Wednesday to Sunday evening).
I paused to think about my work schedule.
W: You look mad for me doing this to you.
I was surprised by this remark. So I looked at her quizzically.
M: I'm not mad. Why do you say that? W: You have that frown on your face like you're mad about taking care of 'E'.
Before I could answer, she gives me a guilt trip...
W: You know this is your son, right. You're his father...
I was still surprised by her remarks. All I said was: "No, I was thinking about MY schedule. ... I'm glad to have him for that time!"
Then I started making small talk about her trip, which I shouldn't have.
In hindsight, I should've:
1. Asked for an apology for wrongly accusing my thought process. 2. Demanded advance notice of her flight. I behaved like a pushover and was treated as such.