I found it was really typical for my H to either not respond or be short with me. One of the things he told me was that when I would talk to him about certain things, he felt like I was expecting him to come up with a solution right away (pressure). Even when I was just filling him in on things going on with D's he felt this way.
I don't know if this is what's going on with your H. I like that you decided to go out with your D though. Removing both yourself and her from the tension, when possible can help you both to breathe.
