Hello All, As a support group, you are amazing. I am off to work so I will respond to each when I return.
As a general comment....... I have come to the conclusion that H was speaking his mind over the past week and he does want me in his life because this was different to anything he has expressed before. He said things like, be patient, i am trying, I am working on..... etc. I did say in my posts (and it was good to read that) he was making no promises. We agreed this was a day to day proposition.
I gave H ample opportunity to say he was with/apart from ow. He didn't take the lead and therefore I was left with no option but to ask straight out because I knew I wasn't interested in risking myself once again. I can't win in this scenario. I will get upset when he takes her to family dinners or to concerts or spends his birthday with her. I can't live with this type of behaviour anymore and I think he knows that and that is why he didn't mention ow until I was insistent.
I learnt a lot when I visited his house. H said he wasn't going Wed night and said he wasn't going to swimming anymore. I don't care. However, what H says and wants can be very different. It took surprisingly little effort to change his mind.
Since leaving his place I have made no contact and I decided I wouldn't. It's up to H to initiate contact. I did post that I was feeling cynical from the outset and I know why. Of course, if there is an issue H will point the finger at me.
If he contacts re Wed I will go but I don't think he will. He wants me in his life as a fall back and I've told him I'm not available in that capacity.
And yes, Sanderika, the situation with ow is strange. Why did she move out and to another suburb? My only thought is that perhaps she got public housing but I wouldn't have thought this would have been the desired option compared to living with H.
Anyway, off to work I go. Thanks for your support.
