The one thing that does hurt a lot still is the fact she will not call or email me first. I mean she actually has not even called to talk to my mom about if she is doing ok after the surgery, that pisses me off a lot. How can she just not care anymore.
I know it must be very hard to see how she's pulled away so far that she shows no concern for your mom. IMO, the WAW doesn't have much of anyone on her mind but herself. Everything is about "her".
I believe your W has taken this opportunity to experience being single while you've been gone. I also believe she used this time to show you that she has separated herself apart from you and your family. She has made a big sign for you to read. It hurts when you read that message, b/c you don't want to believe it.
Her message to you is that she's finished. She's through with the M and anybody connected to it (except, hopefully, the kids). I feel certain that she figured contacting you and asking about your mom, would be seen that she "cared".....and as cold as it is....she does not want you to get that message. The only message she meant to send was that she's not a part of that life anymore.
So, she had told you that some months ago. But you feel like she's slapped you in the face now. Same thing she's being saying, but just through a different means this time. You need to think about what you are going to do when you get back and see her.
Are you going to say anything about her not even checking to see if your mother is doing okay? You know that will lead to a fight. Other things about the R will follow. What could you do that would be completely opposite of how you feel right now? What is your next step once you get back?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
