My Life and Husband's MLC

[DestinyUnknown]

Hello all - I wanted to give an update on my status. Boy, have I been away for a while. With work, my IC sessions, and the reconciliation with my spouse, things have been pretty hectic, but I am back to share my experiences with all of you.

My H is deployed overseas but came home for his R&R. We decided to have him move back home, so he went and picked up his stuff (where it was stored). We talk about his EA/PA - although initially, it was hard for me to discuss because my former reaction was anger. His stuff was at "her" place, so I had to trust him when he left to pick up his things and bring them home. We were able to get away to the Caymans for a very short trip during his R&R and for the 1st time since Sept. 2009, we were intimate. He seems very grounded and forthcoming (he use to always push back and shut down).

We communicate each day by email, video conferencing, etc. He returns home permanently from his deployment in April.

I feel so much stronger because of this entire experience. From the depair, to the anger, frustration and lost of hope and faith, to the restoration of hope and faith, I believe I have come full circle. I still see my IC every week, because it is me who I focus on. I lost myself in my marriage and work, a huge contributing factor in my marriage issues. Of course, my H also contributed - the affair, MLC, dishonesty, and the decision to put in the work to resolve our marriage issues.

We have been steadily building trust through communication AND ACTIONS!!! Very, very important. IT has taken us both a long time to get to a place of peace within ourselves. We were so dependent on each other for happiness. We found it within ourselves and the things we individually enjoy. That was something we lost, but we are finding it again.