A year ago we agreed that we needed to see a therapist due to our M problems (All we did is focus on who we are raising the kids and not on ourselves) but during one of those sessions she mentioned that she went out with one of her GF one night to discus our sitch. The "friend" and I were in the same grade during grade school and high school (W became friends with after we started dating in high school and ended up rooming with her in college) (W and I were in same grade in high school also) but during this night out the friend told my W that she wouldn't put up with my stuff and she should D me. My stuff? Quick temper with her and kids. Not letting kids be kids out in public. Difference opinion on how to raise kids. I became very negative, closed people out. Never really wanted to go out and do stuff. Stop doing stuff with friends. (Only have one person I would call friend). W and kids were walking on egg shells around me. I was not the same person she married. We had good time, a lot of them, but we could have three weeks of good times followed by one big argument and the three weeks would disappear in her mind. Like they didn't happen. The would frustrate the heck out of me.
She comes from big family and I do not think they talked her into the D but I have read text from them telling her to be strong and that she can do it. W has said that after we talk about R, she gets confused but after talking about it to someone out loud she knows she is making right decision.
She has told me that she is liking the way things are now. There is no tension around the house and she is not dreading coming home having to deal with me and when I have kids she gets a break and has fun. She knows the kids are having fun with me so why change anything?
OM? I don't think so. There was a time when I was suspicious but I did some digging and came up with nothing. The SIL is my brothers wife. She was a grade below me in grade/high school. In high school my W and her didn't get along but that changed when she became a part of my family. I'm not to close with her but have had two talks with her about my W in the last week and she said W is being selfish and needs to make a decision. Says its not fair to me. The business is a place that makes clothes for high school dance teams and color guard and such. It is full of women and the only guys that work there are playing for the other team. Now that doesn't mean she coukd have started an EA with someone I don't know about but I can't help that.
Her friends were in the same class as us in high school. They are all married also and she really didn't have a social life. Everything she did was with the kids and her family. So I guess if she got any encouragement it came from her family. MIL told me FIL tried talking W out of it. Didn't work I guess.
I have ? For you. When it comes to conversation with W on phone. Every night we talk to kids to tell the goodnight. Sometimes we talk other times we just hang up. This is how the convo went tonight. After kids talked to W I heard her say let me talk to dad. I got on phone and she asked what time I was bringing kids home tomorrow. I told her it would be late cause I have plans and she asked what I was doing. I told her about the breakfast with FIL and she wanted to know why he didn't tell her about asking me. I told her I don't know she would have to ask him. she then asked about how kids liked Rango and I took this chance to explain how well D3 did during the movie. This is a deal cause the incident that sparked me getting the boot back in July was we all went and saw Toy Story 3 and D3 got really scared which led to me over reacting and a huge fight. So I told her how the movie was a bit scary and how great the kids did. How they are getting big. I looked at it as chance to talk about an action that I believe she would be surprised to see. My ? Is should I just get off the phone and no talk at all or what. Did I make mistake tonight?
One more thing, if you read my post you will see that before bomb we started going to same restaurant every thursday after kids dance class. We have continued this so far but I told her that I was thinking about stopping it. To me it is fake family time but the kids REALLY like it. I had to miss it 2 weeks ago cause I was sick and kids went nuts. When I told W about stopping it she started to cry and said she liked doing it for kids. I said that we wouldn't be doing it if we D and she wondered why not? Last week it was really hard for me cause W wants nothing to do with me its all about her and kids. That's why I think its fake. Should I stop doing it. It gives me a great chance to show off 180 but not sure its helping my sitch.
