IB, I too have spent some time with friends helping them out with their problems and it feels sooooooo good to focus on others.
I also know about the crying too, I haven't really counted the days, but I do know that they are much farther in between and sometimes it surprises me when the crying pops up. I cried last night after Mass. It was more for my in-laws than for me. I can't imaging being a parent seeing their child living in the state of sin.
Love ya girl! (((Hugs)))
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
Hey all - been somewhat preoccupied the last couple of days.
Today is H's birthday. A year ago we were "recovering" and having moments of pure goodness in the wake of devastation. Today I received the final paperwork for our divorce. Papers to be signed on Tuesday. No trial. I don't know what to say.
During the past couple of days - each of the 3 friends who have seen me through this nightmare have had major crisis themselves. Thankfully I am at a stronger place where I can and did give back the love and support they gave to me. I realized what a gift God has given me to bring me to this place at this moment.
Back to the birthday - as most of you know, I have very little - barely any contact with H. This morning - I woke up after keeping my friend's baby boy over night. She is struggling with terrible post-partum and needed a good night's sleep. With the baby quietly sleeping in my arms - I reached for my cell phone and texted H the following: Please don't respond - just wanted to say Happy Birthday. I hope you find the life you are looking for. I will be signing the papers on Tuesday.
Not sure why I felt the need to send it. I've spent 30 of his 48 birthdays celebrating with him. It's a loss.
Moving forward...it's finally a BEAUTIFUL day here. I'm tackling the garage. That will leave only the basement and then the sign goes in the yard. Then my friend doesn't feel like she can be alone and her husband is going to be out - so I'm going to go spend the evening with her and that precious baby.
Leave for Austin Texas with son at the end of the week for 9 days with brother, sister-in-law, beautiful niece and nephew.
I am blessed!
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
You sound great IB. You've grown a lot in a short amount of time. One of the great gifts of our terrible unfortunate situations. I'm glad you are embracing life and moving forward. That's all we can do. Have a great time in TX!
"Love me when I least deserve it, for that is when I need it the most"
M18 Me39,H42 D16 Bomb 1/10 Moved out 3/10 OW 6/10 H wants to R,OW gone 11/10 H moves back 5/11 H wants to wear rings again 9/11
Went to a school musical today - alone. That was fine. H went and visited middle D. She said it was awkward and sad. She said he just seemed disconnected.
I went to dinner with a friend. It was lovely.
Life is just different - no words.
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
Received final D papers today. All I need to do is sign and it is over. I'm overwhelmed with grief.
Oddly enough, I received an email from my BIL today. I have not heard from him since June when he emailed to let me know my H was going to go through with all of this and I needed to just move on. Anyway - the email said "IB, I saw H this weekend and it made me think a lot about you and the kids. I know that this will be a very tough week for all of you but I am thinking about you ALL and praying that you will be ok. I know you will be."
At first I thought this was just an obligatory note - however apparently H took OW out with BIL and his gf for H's birthday. My friends who read this email said their first thought was BIL sensed the mistakes H was making. I don't know.
It doesn't matter anyway...
So, when the papers are signed - do I switch forums???? Another casualty of MLC????
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
Thanks CW. I can't figure out why it still feels surreal! Am I still standing - that's a great question. The answer is I don't really know. In my heart - yes. Spiritually - yes. Intellectually, realistically - I don't know. To be honest, I am a broken person right now so I am not good for anyone until I heal. The healing from this is not quick and I'm not going to rush it.
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
