Following one of our classes, my W threatened to our instructor that she was quitting the dance we've been working on in our private lessons (Mambo), for the past six weeks. She stated this in front of our classmates. She said that we weren't making progress. Our classmates cleared out, sensing a brewing conflict. After listening to both of us, and how we practice, our instructor advised us to first work on the routine to tempo (her preference), without worrying about mistakes, and then to practice it slowly on specific elements (my preference). We took his advice, and the next night had a great practice. Afterwards, we discussed the problem and she proposed adding a second dance (Samba) rather than waiting to start it later this year. We've also agreed to scale-back the private lessons to bi-weekly to extend our lessons over a longer period of time.
I think I've been making progress with mental strength, and being more present in the relationship. After looking at the list of Love Languages, I can see that I need to work on being more compassionate in my personal life.
She has been attending dance classes twice per week with me. It's good for both of us to get out of the house, and spend time with our dance family, and learn new dance elements and patterns. We always go afterwards to our favorite bar for a meal and beer.
My W continues with her personal training, and it' starting to show results after two weeks. I mentioned to her that I noticed a broadening of her shoulders, and some definition in her arms and legs. She's spending more time at the fitness center, which has prompted me to join her after work two nights per week, and increase my time spent exercising.
I still privately wonder when she's going to start job hunting. She plans on it the night before, but never makes it to the weekly job-hunting group. She mentioned to me that she considers this a time of self-care. We haven't been going to a weeknight dance venue, because she's self-conscious about her weight (142 lb.). I withhold comment on that topic, grateful that she now has some forward momentum with exercise. She intends on buying some more private training sessions, as it provides structure and accountability for her.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
