My Story - He Cheated while I was Pregnant

[AJM80]

So I called H today to let him know about my leave ending next month and that I would like to discuss it/whether I'd leave or go back and what that would mean financially and for the kids. Maybe he doesnt get any input into this, but it seems like we should discuss it, since he's supporting us and his kids will be impacted by this. ANd since we are relying on him.

I'm just wondering if it is time for me to shut off, stop being so nice, and start really separating....or if that would kill all the good progress we've made towards getting along....or if that will be productive/a dose of reality. And maybe that's a D or going to an atty...reality for both of us?

I guess what I have been doing has been productive - we're getting along, he's loving kids and helping me more....

I'm not losing hope, I'm questioning if he ever will be good enough to overcome this....if he can believe and have enough hope. Because at some point, my faith and love might not be enough....they weren't last time....I know he's hurting and afraid, but he lacks something in himself (confidence, moral compass, ?) PLUS he's hiding from reality. Maybe I am really identifing with WAW's right now. I wouldnt want to date who he is now...

I did have a good laugh the other day, flipping through craigslist personals. I told H there was some CRAZY stuff on there. It was just humorous, though...not like I was really looking or going to reply to anyone.

Yes, I love him. Yes, I think I want us to stay together. And yes, I am probably strong enough to keep doing this...but am I strong enough to do this for a year, THEN D, THEN rebuilding? Cause a consequence of my situation is that I am choosing not to move away/leave..and if we D, that's my plan...the kids and I are out.