Ok so I woke up at like 1130 this morning and I so stressed, I cannot get a fight back to Germany this weekend and now all I can think about is my jacked up relationship. I want to call and talk to my kids but do not want to make a mistake when my wife picks up the phone. I am so torn right now. I still stalk her on Facebook and Twitter like I have a choice or can change what she posts. I am such a frickin idiot I swear.
Well, I just called explained the situation of no flights to my wife and then spoke to my daughter and son. Son hung up the phone so it was an abrupt conversation with the wife. Hope it works, I still get a weird feeling because I do enjoy chatting with her and doing this is so difficult. But no pursuit is the key apparently.
You are a man who doesn't want to lose his family. I am truly sorry that you are going through this pain. I see you trying hard to follow the advice given, and I admire a man who does it with the intent of reaching his goal.
Probably won't make you feel any better, but I always believed that when we couldn't get a flight out....it was for a very good reason. Your kids will still be there waiting. I bet they are missing you too.
Have you bought something cool for your kids to take back from the USA? You gotta do that!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I did not call today as I needed some much needed catch up sleep and ended up getting up early and then passing back out.
The one thing that does hurt a lot still is the fact she will not call or email me first. I mean she actually has not even called to talk to my mom about if she is doing ok after the surgery, that pisses me off a lot. How can she just not care anymore.
And to answer your most important question, yes I picked up a few things for the kids and I am sure they will like them.
The one thing that does hurt a lot still is the fact she will not call or email me first. I mean she actually has not even called to talk to my mom about if she is doing ok after the surgery, that pisses me off a lot. How can she just not care anymore.
I know it must be very hard to see how she's pulled away so far that she shows no concern for your mom. IMO, the WAW doesn't have much of anyone on her mind but herself. Everything is about "her".
I believe your W has taken this opportunity to experience being single while you've been gone. I also believe she used this time to show you that she has separated herself apart from you and your family. She has made a big sign for you to read. It hurts when you read that message, b/c you don't want to believe it.
Her message to you is that she's finished. She's through with the M and anybody connected to it (except, hopefully, the kids). I feel certain that she figured contacting you and asking about your mom, would be seen that she "cared".....and as cold as it is....she does not want you to get that message. The only message she meant to send was that she's not a part of that life anymore.
So, she had told you that some months ago. But you feel like she's slapped you in the face now. Same thing she's being saying, but just through a different means this time. You need to think about what you are going to do when you get back and see her.
Are you going to say anything about her not even checking to see if your mother is doing okay? You know that will lead to a fight. Other things about the R will follow. What could you do that would be completely opposite of how you feel right now? What is your next step once you get back?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
[quote] Are you going to say anything about her not even checking to see if your mother is doing okay? You know that will lead to a fight. Other things about the R will follow. What could you do that would be completely opposite of how you feel right now? What is your next step once you get back?
I guess I will try to not say anything. I see where she is and the pain is truly agonizing to say the least. But to be honest I see that being away could be ok for me. Miss the living hell out of my kids but if she wants to continue living in the Twilight teeny bop world and destroy my family and hers over selfishness.
I see it is all about her needs only at this point. She is definitely being selfish and now I do really see it has nothing to with me, no matter what she says!
Sandi2, yes my kids are American and so if my wife.
I got back Tuesday morning and she picked me up at the airport. No hug, no kiss. Anyway when I got home I ate some lunch and pretty much crashed. Jet lag is kicking me right now at work almost lunch time but I am doing well. Not sure what I should do now that I am back. Just stick to my plan that you have set out for me Sandi!
Glad to hear you had a safe trip. Remember to just let her be. When you're tired it makes you vulnerable to fights, so don't take any bait she may dangle in front of you.
Stay focused on your life with your children.
((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
