Separated with 50/50 custody of an infant

[sparks14]

Thanks for the response, Jack.

W has always had a struggle with my logical thinking. I seemed to have an answer for everything based on logic. For all intensive purposes, my main role in my career is a logical problem solver. W never felt on equal ground. She hated that I could not involve her financial affairs even though I was the numbers person, and she was afraid of them. She hated how I had to research anything I purchased of significant cost.

This has been one of my 180s. I have been trying to act on emotion and on a whim. I have actively listened to her. I have been choosing to let her make decisions without a struggle from me regardless of how I think they may end. I am taking logic out of it.

I guess that is why I have so much trouble detaching the emotion interactions. There have been a couple times in the last few weeks where my W actually told me to quit being so stoic when in the face of a difficult situation for us. She would come in for a big hug, hold me, and tell me that it is okay to cry. I hated that, because that is of course what I would begin to do.

I don't know if this is just a test, if it is what my W is really seeking from me, or if she is simply trying to urge me to take down my defenses and be sad in a sad situation. Only my W knows her intentions.

I do agree with you concerning taking a step back and looking at the situation from the outside in regards to detaching. I will continue to work on it.