Moving Forward

[gutwrenching]

Sandi,
Sure you will interested to know that we are giving it a try again. W has met all criteria/boundaries, swears never again (of course have heard that before), knows that grass isn't greener on the other side. One of the final enlightments to her I guess was a phone conversation with OM where he was rattling off everything a man should be for his W and she said it hit her that the new me offers all that and she's not sure the OM really ever would and that what they had wasn't real.

My guard is still way up. It seems different this time because I have no fear...if things don't work out, this last time I truly figured out that I will be fine on my own...funny thing is I think W found out she hated it on her own...

I can tell you that W seems to really working at, as she would put it, not being selfish. She told me she realized she is good at expecting her needs to be met, but hasn't been as good at "giving" on her end to make sure my needs were being met.

One of the keys for me was her upcoming business trip to a location about 2 hours from OM. I told her, before agreeing to reconcile, that I was very nervous about trip and not sure I was comfortable with her going alone...so we decided that I would take a week of vaction time and go with her. That is probably the only way I wouldn't just be a wreck of nerves wondering...