When I brought this up to Jody she laughed and said "every man fears that. being friends is important to them"
Lol. I really don't understand why guys worry about the "friendship trap." I've never dated anyone I wasn't friends with first. And even if you start dating and then develop a friendship as you date, you still have to develop a friendship. If you aren't friends, you certainly can't be more than that.
And the four phases I was taught as a newcomer here were reducing negative emotions, friendship, romance, and recommitment.
Build the friendship. Be the loyal, supportive, loving friend she needs and the rest can follow.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Lol. I really don't understand why guys worry about the "friendship trap."
I tell you in my case and I am sure a lot of guys can relate. When I became friends with my wife it was with the goal of dating her. Now for obvious reason our motives are different. I guess I kind of fear that end up as friends and we start talking about life and she starts to tell me about how great her new boyfriend is. Can you imagine??!! LOL.
Originally Posted By: MichelleLT
And the four phases I was taught as a newcomer here were reducing negative emotions, friendship, romance, and recommitment.
Those are the phases as I understand them. I think I am in the process of reducing negative emotions. I think the friendship aspect has been damaged severely but she still comes to me for certain things. That has to be a positive sign. Romance in my case will be extremely difficult since we have the distance. There will be no dating or very limited dating. I can't fly to OK every weekend for dinner and a movie
but you can still romance her from afar. When my W and I were dating, I was away for months at a time. We wrote each other the coolest notes. We both still have them! It was romantic as all can be. PLUS, once that starts, the distance makes the heart grow fonder will be even greater.
Is it ideal? Nah. But can be done.
m 40 w 38 married 15 together 18 d11, d8 bomb 12/19/10 2nd bomb 3/30/11 COMPLETELY DONE
[quote=Bolt]but you can still romance her from afar. When my W and I were dating, I was away for months at a time. We wrote each other the coolest notes. We both still have them! It was romantic as all can be. PLUS, once that starts, the distance makes the heart grow fonder will be even greater. quote]
Very, very true. Why do so many internet relationships start? Because when you're far apart you have to share your heart. You talk, you flirt, you dream together, you bare your soul.
It could really be a great thing, Bolt, if you look at it the right way.
Me - 38, 2nd M, no living children, 1 forever 6 yr old boy H - 44, 3rd M, twins 16
Dating 4/07 M 10/08 Bomb #1 12/10 Bomb #2 1/11 Bomb #3 12/11
Nice to hear from you again, I have not seen you around as of late. I hope things are looking up for you in your sitch I know you face a daily struggle. The distance is a constant thorn in my side but I must keep a positive outlook, it has allowed us to heal at our own pace without interference from each others presence.
Hope:
Nice to see you back. You too have been absent for a long time. Internet R? That is good. Maybe I should get her a PC so that she can communicate better with me. LOL.
For us girls it's Veni Vidi Visa = I came , I saw, I shopped.
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
For us girls it's Veni Vidi Visa = I came , I saw, I shopped.
LOVE IT!
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
LOVE IT!