The year of not my problem

[AJM]

More positive helped. Much better perspective now. Could use some sleep, but we can't have it all, right?
Met with a friend who went through similar with her husband. She is just starting to date and is about to be dumped by the first guy she started to trust. I can see it plainly - she needs to learn to trust her own instincts again. It's easy to see because I am on the outside of that one. Funny how that works, eh?
I also sent a (I thought) positive note to stbx letting her know that she doesn't have to be worried about time with the kids. She sent me an email and started it with, "per the sep agreement" checking to see about time with the kids for Easter. Easter happens to fall on my daughter's 16th birthday as well this year. At first I was a bit angry about the way stbx worded things. I let that go and instead noticed that it would put my daughter in a tug of war. I opted to not do that and instead suggested my stbx pick the kids up the night before, even though it's my weekend with the kids. I just can't put my kids into a tug of war - this isn't because of them. It's not about them. They deserve better than that and I can help in this case, even though it's not what I want. So I let stbx know that, and her reply was still caustic. I wasn't clear from her writing that this was about Easter, and her caustic response to me asking about it wasn't necessary. I thought about it and decided to let her know that starting a message with "per our sep agreement" came across as angry and fearful and that since she told me she was neither, it wasn't necessary. That's as nice as I can be towards her. It's as nice as I would be towards a stranger, so I don't feel like I'm giving her any special attention.

Anyway, I'm worried about my relationships with my kids as they still try to understand the difference between how things were and how they are now. As they try to understand what is, in the end, not understandable. There is no explanation and believe me I tried to get one. I got many conflicting ones instead. It was pointless to try when all was said and done.

I still notice the anger. I still can't figure out why it's there. Instead I'll adjust my interactions to protect my kids and my interest and leave it at that. I have better things to do...

Peace,

AJ