WAW tearing up our family part II

[JustStunned]

Ironman, IMO Sandi’s right the conv was rooted in anger and anger is a normal emotion to have. Having feelings is part of what makes us human. You already acknowledged the anger was not constructive. Can you use the energy associated with it to motivate someting more positive in you?

In a former life maintaining bearing during emotional strain was a virtue. Breaking bearing was a sin. I try to remember that when “acting as if”

The analogy Sandi referred to about dropping the rope is a good one. IMO Ideally one should have enough detachment from the emotions of one’s sitch to not be affected by them. “Like water off a ducks back” the emotions should just flow away. I struggle with this also, but I am getting better.

I have not experienced this yet, but I understand the theory when our spouses realize we are no longer affected by their actions and are moving on without them, they will likely become curious and test to see if we truly have “dropped the rope” How that interaction flows determines what occurs next.

Like you I do not know if I will want the person W will eventually become in my life again. I know I do not want the person I perceive she is now. So I dropped the rope. She is too fogged in to notice. She may never notice. I have to accept that and focus on the things I can control.

You have an infant/small child. This makes all of this doubly tough. You cannot control how she mothers this child. You cannot control her decisions affectting the family. You can control how you react. You can control how you father this child. Be the best father you can be.