Remember your resolve to act as if you are moving on with your life and "will" be happy with or without her in it.

No matter what you are feeling TODAY, only show your W
happiness and contentment. Show your W someone she would want to be around, somebody that is attractive and fun.

She may not notice right now b/c she is blind in this fantasy fog with OM, but at some point she will see you as the best option for her....if this is the route you want to pursue for your M.

I'm sure you must feel panicky right now b/c she's not covering up her feelings about this trip very well. I know you are concerned that it will turn into a PA, but remember that OM's W will be on that trip also, and she's going to keep a sharp eye on them. I believe that's why she went back to work is b/c she suspects her H flirting with your W.

If you can be cool and act as if this trip doesn't bother you b/c you are a confident man (not insecure in who you are) and you don't show any neediness, clinging, etc., right before she leaves...I believe it will be the best.

Now, some would advise that you give her an ultimatum, and some would call it a boundary...but I believe that if you do that, it's a sure way of chunking the M for good. You have to decide for yourself. Be honest with yourself and realize that no matter what you say to her...it will not prevent her from going on this trip. She has this trip as top priority and NOTHING is going to rank higher than that.

You might consider agreeing with some of the things she says. For instance when she brings up the fact that her parents can help with the children, you could tell her that's good b/c you will need some personal time. If she talks about future plans of more office trips...don't react, just stay cool b/c we never know what the future holds. It's almost like dangling bait in front of you when she talks about the trip...so you need to have something that you can leave the conversation and focus on something for you at that moment. This is like a life-saver for you. You need to think beforehand what you could do when she begins singing about this office trip. Don't let her see a H who is filled with fear, but rather a H who is nonchalant about the whole thing.

BTW, plan a lot of GAL while she's gone. Don't be too available to her when she makes contact....especially when her parents are there to babysit.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!